Balancing Team Dynamics

One of the toughest tests of your leadership isn't how you handle success. It's how you navigate disagreement. I noticed this in the SEAL Teams and in my work with executives: Those who master difficult conversations outperform their peers not just in team satisfaction, but in decision quality and innovation. The problem? Most of us enter difficult conversations with our nervous system already in a threat state. Our brain literally can't access its best thinking when flooded with stress hormones. Through years of working with high-performing teams, I've developed what I call The Mindful Disagreement Framework. Here's how it works: 1. Pause Before Engaging (10 seconds) When triggered by disagreement, take a deliberate breath. This small reset activates your prefrontal cortex instead of your reactive limbic system. Your brain physically needs this transition to think clearly. 2. Set Psychological Safety (30 seconds) Start with: "I appreciate your perspective and want to understand it better. I also have some different thoughts to share." This simple opener signals respect while creating space for different viewpoints. 3. Lead with Curiosity, Not Certainty (2 minutes) Ask at least three questions before stating your position. This practice significantly increases the quality of solutions because it broadens your understanding before narrowing toward decisions. 4. Name the Shared Purpose (1 minute) "We both want [shared goal]. We're just seeing different paths to get there." This reminds everyone you're on the same team, even with different perspectives. 5. Separate Impact from Intent (30 seconds) "When X happened, I felt Y, because Z. I know that wasn't your intention." This formula transforms accusations into observations. Last month, I used this exact framework in a disagreement. The conversation that could have damaged our relationship instead strengthened it. Not because we ended up agreeing, but because we disagreed respectfully. (It may or may not have been with my kid!) The most valuable disagreements often feel uncomfortable. The goal isn't comfort. It's growth. What difficult conversation are you avoiding right now? Try this framework tomorrow and watch what happens to your leadership influence. ___ Follow me, Jon Macaskill for more leadership focused content. And feel free to repost if someone in your life needs to hear this. 📩 Subscribe to my newsletter here → https://lnkd.in/g9ZFxDJG You'll get FREE access to my 21-Day Mindfulness & Meditation Course packed with real, actionable strategies to lead with clarity, resilience, and purpose.

At Amazon, two of my top engineers had a shouting match that ended in tears. This could be a sign of a toxic workplace or a sign of passion and motivation. Whether it becomes toxic or not all comes down to how management deals with conflict. In order to deal with conflict in your team, it is first essential to understand it. A Harvard study has identified that there are 4 types of conflict that are common in teams: 1. The Boxing Match: Two people within a team disagree 2. The Solo Dissenter: Conflict surrounds one individual 3. Warring Factions: Two subgroups within a team disagree 4. The Blame Game: The whole team is in disagreement My engineers shouting at each other is an example of the boxing match. They were both passionate and dedicated to the project, but their visions were different. This type of passion is a great driver for a healthy team, but if the conflict were to escalate it could quickly become toxic and counterproductive. In order to de-escalate the shouting, I brought them into a private mediation. This is where one of the engineers started to cry because he was so passionate about his vision for the project. The important elements of managing this conflict in a healthy and productive way were: 1) Giving space for each of the engineers to explain their vision 2) Mediating their discussion so that they could arrive at a productive conclusion 3) Not killing either of their passion by making them feel unheard or misunderstood Ultimately, we were able to arrive at a productive path forward with both engineers feeling heard and respected. They both continued to be top performers. In today’s newsletter, I go more deeply into how to address “Boxing Match” conflicts as both a manager and an IC. I also explain how to identify and address the other 3 common types of team conflict. You can read the newsletter here https://lnkd.in/gXYr9T3r Readers- How have you seen team member conflict handled well in your careers?

Conflict is inevitable. How we manage it is both an art and a science. In my work with executives, I often discuss Thomas Kilmann's five types of conflict managers: (1) The Competitor – Focuses on winning, sometimes forgetting there’s another human on the other side. (2) The Avoider – Pretends conflict doesn’t exist, hoping it disappears (spoiler: it doesn’t). (3) The Compromiser – Splits the difference, often leaving both sides feeling like nobody really wins. (4) The Accommodator – Prioritizes relationships over their own needs, sometimes at their own expense. (5) The Collaborator – Works hard to find a win-win, but it takes effort. The style we use during conflict depends on how we manage the tension between empathy and assertiveness. (a) Assertiveness: The ability to express your needs, boundaries, and interests clearly and confidently. It’s standing your ground—without steamrolling others. Competitors do this naturally, sometimes too much. Avoiders and accommodators? Not so much. (b) Empathy: The ability to recognize and consider the other person’s perspective, emotions, and needs. It’s stepping into their shoes before taking a step forward. Accommodators thrive here, sometimes at their own expense. Competitors? They might need a reminder that the other side has feelings too. Balancing both is the key to successful negotiation. Here’s how: - Know your default mode. Are you more likely to fight, flee, or fold? Self-awareness is step one. - Swap 'but' for 'and' – “I hear your concerns, and I’d like to explore a solution that works for both of us.” This keeps both voices in the conversation. - Be clear, not combative. Assertiveness isn’t aggression; it’s clarity. Replace “You’re wrong” with “I see it differently—here’s why.” - Make space for emotions. Negotiations aren’t just about logic. Acknowledge emotions (yours and theirs) so they don’t hijack the conversation. - Negotiate the process, not just the outcome. If you’re dealing with a competitor, set ground rules upfront. If it’s an avoider, create a low-stakes way to engage. Great negotiators don’t just stick to their natural style—they adapt. Which conflict style do you tend to default to? And how do you balance empathy with assertiveness? #ConflictResolution #Negotiation #Leadership #Empathy #Assertiveness #Leadership #DecisionMaking

If you’re not getting feedback from your team, you’re probably missing the most important things. In my book, I wrote: “Start by asking for criticism, not by giving it. Don’t dish it out before you show you can take it.” As a boss, your authority changes what people are willing to say to you. Even if you don’t see yourself as intimidating, your role often is. That’s why building a culture of candor starts with you. Here are 3 ways to make it safer for your team to challenge you directly: 1. Ask before you give. I’ve learned to rely on questions like: “What’s one thing I could do - or stop doing - to make it easier to work with me?” Then, pause. Let the silence do the work. 2. Don’t get defensive. Listen to understand, not to reply. Feedback can feel uncomfortable - but that discomfort is where growth begins. 3. Reward the candor. Say thank you. Act on what you heard. Show your team it’s worth the risk to be honest with you. Because when people feel safe to speak up, everyone does better work - and you become a better leader. What’s one piece of feedback that changed the way you lead? :)

One of the hardest balances to master as a leader is staying informed about your team’s work without crossing the line into micromanaging them. You want to support them, remove roadblocks, and guide outcomes without making them feel like you’re hovering. Here’s a framework I’ve found effective for maintaining that balance: 1. Set the Tone Early Make it clear that your intent is to support, not control. For example: “We’ll need regular updates to discuss progress and so I can effectively champion this work in other forums. My goal is to ensure you have what you need, to help where it’s most valuable, and help others see the value you’re delivering.” 2. Create a Cadence of Check-Ins Establish structured moments for updates to avoid constant interruptions. Weekly or biweekly check-ins with a clear agenda help: • Progress: What’s done? • Challenges: What’s blocking progress? • Next Steps: What’s coming up? This predictability builds trust while keeping everyone aligned. 3. Ask High-Leverage Questions Stay focused on outcomes by asking strategic questions like: • “What’s the biggest risk right now?” • “What decisions need my input?” • “What’s working that we can replicate?” This approach keeps the conversation productive and empowering. 4. Define Metrics and Milestones Collaborate with your team to define success metrics and use shared dashboards to track progress. This allows you to stay updated without manual reporting or extra meetings. 5. Empower Ownership Show your trust by encouraging problem-solving: “If you run into an issue, let me know your proposed solutions, and we’ll work through it together.” When the team owns their work, they’ll take greater pride in the results. 6. Leverage Technology Use tools like Asana, Jira, or Trello to centralize updates. Shared project platforms give you visibility while letting your team focus on execution. 7. Solicit Feedback Ask your team: “Am I giving you enough space, or would you prefer more or less input from me?” This not only fosters trust but also helps you refine your approach as a leader. Final Thought: Growing up playing sports, none of my coaches ever suited up and got in the game with the players on the field. As a leader, you should follow the same discipline. How do you stay informed without micromanaging? What would you add? #leadership #peoplemanagement #projectmanagement #leadershipdevelopment

Do you feel part of a real team? Or are there moments when you feel isolated, uncertain, and disconnected, even though you're surrounded by colleagues? In the early stages of my career, I had the simplistic view that bringing together a bunch of high achievers would naturally create an outstanding team. However, the reality was quite different. Instead of creating synergy, there was noticeable discord. The team didn't seem to gel; it was akin to cogs not aligning in a machine. Every top performer, exceptional in their own right, appeared to follow their own path, often pulling in different directions. The amount of energy and time lost to internal strife was significant, and the expected outcomes? They remained just that – expected. This experience was a clear lesson that the success of a team isn't merely based on individual talent; it's about harmony, alignment, and collaboration. With today’s workplaces being more diverse, widespread, digitized, and ever-changing, achieving this is certainly challenging. So, in my quest to understand the nuances of high-performing teams, I reached out to my friend Hari Haralambiev. As a coach of dev teams who care about people, Hari has worked with numerous tech organizations, guiding them to unlock their teams’ potential. Here are his top 5 tips for developing high performing teams: 1. Be Inclusive ↳Put a structure in place so that the most vocal people don’t suffocate the silent voices. Great teams make sure minority views are heard and taken into account. They make it safe for people to speak up. 2. Leverage Conflict ↳Disagreements should be encouraged and how you handle them is what makes your team poor or great. Great teams mine for conflict - they cherish disagreements. To handle disagreements properly make sure to separate discussion from decision. 3. Decision Making Process ↳Have a clear team decision-making method to resolve conflicts quickly. The most important decision a team should make is how to make decisions. Don’t look for 100% agreement. Look for 100% commitment. 4. Care and Connect ↳This is by far the most important tip. Teams who are oriented only on results are not high-performing. You need to create psychological safety and build trust between people. To do that - focus on actually knowing the other people and to make it safe to be vulnerable in front of others. Say these 4 phrases more often: ‘I don’t know’, ‘I made a mistake’, ‘I’m sorry’, ‘I need help’. 5. Reward experimentation and risk taking ↳No solution is 100% certain. People should feel safe to take risks and make mistakes. Reward smart failure. Over-communicate that it’s better to take action and take accountability than play it safe. Remember, 'team' isn't just a noun—it's a verb. It requires ongoing effort and commitment to work at it, refine it, and nurture it. Do give Hari a follow and join over 6K+ professionals who receive his leadership comics in his newsletter A Leader’s Tale.

A leadership team I worked with had just wrapped a major strategy retreat. Values were refreshed. Vision was clear. Energy was high. But six weeks later? Alignment had faded. Mid-level managers were overextended. Stress was spiking. Not because the strategy was wrong, but because the team hadn’t committed to the rhythms that would sustain the change. You can’t lead on clarity and operate on chaos. Culture doesn’t stick without rhythm. When we stepped back in, we settled into the Design & Walk phase. The team didn’t need more content. They needed structure. We established new rhythms: -Biweekly leadership huddles focused on decision-making and alignment instead of updates (moving eyes forward). Reshaped 1:1s built around both results and relational feedback (focused on connection and alignment) -Quarterly reset sessions tying strategy to lived experience across teams What changed? (checking for alignment in strategy and culture) Impact? -Decision speed increased -Team energy stabilized -Managers felt more supported -Turnover dropped in key departments They didn’t just need vision. They needed clear support structures to live it out—together. Real results happen when strategic alignment and human connection move in rhythm. 📌 Where does your team need a rhythm that actually reflects what you say matters? #groundedandgrowing #leadershipdevelopment #organizationalhealth #culturebuilding #executivealignment #designandwalk #rhythms #teamstrategy #managerdevelopment

I once had a team of insecure overachiever analysts. They were introverts, brilliant at their work, and incredibly nice people. Too nice, as it turned out. They were so nice that they wouldn't tell each other what was really going on. Instead, they'd come to me: "So-and-so is doing this thing that's really annoying. Can you do something about it?" I got sick of everyone putting me in the middle instead of taking ownership of their issues with each other. So I did something about it. I brought in trainers from the Center for Creative Leadership to teach everyone the Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) model (link in comments). The process was simple but powerful: 1. Describe the situation so everyone's on the same page. 2. Share the specific behavior you observed (no judgments about intent). 3. Explain the impact on you or the other people in the room. We started with positive feedback to create safety. We practiced saying things like, “When you walked into that meeting with a big smile, the impact was that it put everyone at ease." Everyone started spotlighting the good that was happening, and that encouraged more thoughtful interactions. Then, we practiced constructive feedback—harder, but even more important. The impact was almost immediate. Soon, I heard people asking each other, "Hey, can I give you an SBI?" The framework made it safe. More importantly, we came to give and receive feedback for the gift that it is. That ability to give and receive honest, thoughtful feedback is the foundation of every healthy team culture. But it's a skill we rarely train for. I’m curious: What frameworks have you used in your organizations to create a culture of feedback?

🌍 The Real Reason Your Team Isn’t Connecting Might Surprise You 🛑 You’ve built a diverse team. Communication seems clear. Everyone speaks the same language. So why do projects stall? Why does feedback get misread? Why do brilliant employees feel misunderstood? Because what you’re facing isn’t a language barrier—it’s a cultural one. 🤔 Here’s what that looks like in real life: ✳ A team member from a collectivist culture avoids challenging a group decision, even when they disagree. ✳ A manager from a direct feedback culture gets labeled “harsh.” ✳ An employee doesn’t speak up in meetings—not because they don’t have ideas, but because interrupting feels disrespectful in their culture. These aren't missteps—they’re misalignments. And they can quietly erode trust, engagement, and performance. 💡 So how do we fix it? Here are 5 ways to reduce misalignments and build stronger, more inclusive teams: 🧭 1. Train for Cultural Competence—Not Just Diversity Don’t stop at DEI 101. Offer immersive training that helps employees navigate different communication styles, values, and worldviews. 🗣 2. Clarify Team Norms Make the invisible visible. Talk about what “respectful communication” means across cultures. Set expectations before conflicts arise. 🛎 3. Slow Down Decision-Making Fast-paced environments often leave diverse perspectives unheard. Build in time to reflect, revisit, and invite global input. 🌍 4. Encourage Curiosity Over Judgment When something feels off, ask: Could this be cultural? This small shift creates room for empathy and deeper connection. 📊 5. Audit Systems for Cultural Bias Review how you evaluate performance, give feedback, and promote leadership. Are your systems inclusive, or unintentionally favoring one style? 🎯 Cultural differences shouldn’t divide your team—they should drive your innovation. If you’re ready to create a workplace where every team member can thrive, I’d love to help. 📅 Book a complimentary call and let’s talk about what cultural competence could look like in your organization. The link is on my profile. Because when we understand each other, we work better together. 💬 #CulturalCompetence #GlobalTeams #InclusiveLeadership #CrossCulturalCommunication #DEIStrategy

85% of employees encounter workplace conflicts, but most leaders avoid addressing them. This used to be one of my weaknesses too, till I learnt the Thomas Kilmann Conflict Model. This categorizes all forms of conflict resolution into five distinct strategies, based on a balance between assertiveness and cooperation. Here are the 5 strategies it teaches you, and when to use each: 1. Competing You push your agenda with authority or strong arguments. It’s great for quick decisions but might strain relationships. Example: A project manager insists on a specific vendor, though the team doesn't like working with them, leading to resentment but meeting tight deadlines. 2. Accommodating You put others’ needs first to keep the peace. Best for when harmony matters more than the issue itself. Example: A team leader agrees to extend a colleague’s project deadline, even if it delays their own work, to maintain team morale. 3. Avoiding Sidestepping conflict altogether, ignoring the problem for the time being. This can be helpful when the issue is minor, but often leads to unresolved tensions. Example: An employee is unhappy with a project they’re assigned, but it’s only for 2 months, so they avoid raising concerns. 4. Collaborating You and the other party work together, investing time and resources to find a solution that satisfies everyone. Perfect for complex problems. Example: Two team leads work together to split resources between projects, ensuring both teams meet their goals without sacrificing quality. 5. Compromising You both give up something to reach an agreement. It’s a middle ground between competing and accommodating. Example: Two managers agree to split the budget increase, each getting half of what they initially wanted to support their projects. - The Thomas-Kilmann Model isn’t just a theory - it’s a practical tool you can apply daily. Consciously finding the right type of conflict handling style to use is a game changer for leaders - and will lead to a stronger team. #companyculture #leadership #strategies